Archive for January, 2008

A Man of the Imaginary People

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

– posted by thehim

If Mark Gardner were any more out of touch with reality, he should be required to carry a different passport.  Here he is today discussing Goldy’s layoff from KIRO:

Besides being an embarassing ass on the air, Goldy’s show appealed to a not very valuable demographic: Liberals. Just think how they spend their money (drugs, booze, tatooes and porn, etc.) and how little money they have.

Even if his absurd stereotypes were true, he still wouldn’t have a point, because beer companies and tattoo parlors would give KIRO advertising revenue. But of course, his absurd stereotypes aren’t true, even though he truly believes them himself. Don’t believe me?

Check out what he said after our friend ‘bma’ left the following comment:

Do conservatives actually not spend their money on drugs, booze and porn?

He replied:

Booze and wine, yeah. Not much on the others. Certanly no tatooes or piercings.

Um, yeah (you only have to watch the first 20 seconds of this clip to see what I’m talking about)…

The sheer amount of retardation coming out of WhackyNation these days is beyond my comprehension. Between Guzzo, Gardner, and Manweller, that site has become a complete spectacle.


Smart Bills

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

Eff the EFF, and their ongoing efforts to call fine bills stupid.

Stupid Bills, Vol. XI

Posted by Ryan Bedford – January 29, 2008

At least they aren’t in stupid, stupid Florida.

HB 3150 – Making certain disclosure and ethics laws applicable to initiative and referendum sponsors
Ethics reform is for the dumb.
The irony! In their haste to keep Tim Eyman from getting in their way, some legislators may give him greater job security. A bill has been introduced that will force initiative sponsors to disclose their finances just the way politicians have to. While aimed at chronic or professional initiative sponsors, the legislation also can be easily sidestepped. Anybody can file an initiative and hire a professional to run it for them.
As opposed to now when nobody hires professionals to run their initiatives.

Existing disclosure requirements work. They exposed Eyman’s mishandling of his salary a few years ago.

This is very weak tea. We’ve seen how someone could get away with cheating his constituency for a while but eventually get caught. And then provide no accountability since then. Surely that’s a success story that needs no follow up.

The effort is likely to backfire. Rather than keeping professional sponsors out of the initiative picture, the law will make the initiative process more difficult for average citizens, likely funneling even more initiatives to those with more experience and expertise.

The sheep are already out the barn door.

HB 3133 – Requiring a minimum of three years’ notice on closures or conversions of mobile home parks and manufactured housing communities.

Damn, people. You should be kicked out of your home immediately. I mean people living in manufactured communities and mobile home parks are obviously the people who can recover most quickly.

More irony! While some legislators believe mobile home park residents have an “expectation of long-term security” and must be given three years notice before land can be converted to a different use, they don’t think twice about the victims of eminent domain who have 90 days (or some other court-imposed timeline.) to relocate.

First off, it’s three years’ notice. If you made it singular, one year’s notice would be appropriate, not one year notice. But enough about my punctuation hobby horse, how does this relate to eminent domain?

Renewing His Subscription to the Ron Paul Political Report

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

– posted by thehim

A few weeks back, the Ron Paul Revolution hit a small snag.  Publications with such names as the Ron Paul Political Report were uncovered and they happened to contain a lot of extremely racist shit.  The candidate’s explanations for these newsletters didn’t really make sense to anyone and even though all fingers are pointing at longtime Paul associate Lew Rockwell as the secret author, neither Paul nor Rockwell are owning up to it.  While these revelations have seemed to dampen the enthusiasm for Paul among his saner supporters, that was only ever a small part of his support base in the first place.

For others, the Revolution rolls on.  Here’s how our favorite local Paultard, Justadog, celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day:

To me, Martin Luther King represents the start of the downfall of America.

Has there been a greater opening line to any post in the history of this blog?   

He was a socialist activist that started a perverse turn to a weakened America.

As a side note, the running ticker at the top of his blog that calculates the cost to America of illegal immigrants just crossed $490 billion.    

He used race in an attempt to manipulate government from a departure of “all men created equally” to “special interest groups are a priority” and advocate for empowering oppressive unions that have done more to destroy the industrial greatness of America than any other force.

Let me get this straight.  Is he actually arguing that what Martin Luther King Jr. did during the civil rights movement got us further away from the notion that “all men are created equal?” 

OK, at this point, if this isn’t the stupidest post I will ever encounter in my life, I’m seriously endangering my mental health by continuing to write for this blog. 


His Own Private Florida

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

– posted by thehim

Many Democrats are still hoping that Mitt Romney wins the Republican nomination. I’m certainly one of them, but for a totally different reason. I’m rooting for Mitt Romney to win the Republican nomination because it will allow for the Federal Way Conservative’s unbelievably disturbing man-crush on him to continue full force until November. Jonathan has already called Florida for Mitt even though he actually finished second to John McCain:

This is just about a done deal now. Mitt Romney is leading, a lot, in Florida.

And the polling has been so accurate thus far, especially in the Florida Republican race.

No one will be surprised when he wins today, probably by 8 or more points. (At least, no one who has been reading the polls.) Mitt Romney also passed McCain nationally.

Via TPM, “Right now, with just over half reporting, McCain has 36%, Romney has 31% and Rudy is bringing up third with 15%.”

I’m not too excited about this.

That’s good, because it’s only happening inside your head, fucknuts.

I think a lot of us saw it happening about a month ago as Mitt took second in Iowa and New Hampshire. When he took first in Michigan, that’s when I was truly happy and certain that Mitt would take the nomination.

I think we’re seeing the perfect illustration of the blind faith that allowed Mormonism to come about in the first place.

Now that people see this race as McCain vs. Romney, the conservatives are falling in line behind Romney.

Which is why Giuliani is endorsing McCain tomorrow.

That means most of Huckabee’s, Thompson’s, Giuliani’s, Hunter’s, Paul’s, and Tancredo’s guys are lining up behind Romney.

Well, Tancredo and Hunter have about 10 supporters between them, and Thompson will make an endorsement in March when he wakes up from his post-campaign nap.

(I mean the republicans among Paul’s supporters, not the crazies.)

If you’re a Democrat trying to figure that one out, remember that his “crazies” are our “Republicans” and vice versa.

That’s the majority of the party, because we are still a party of conservatives, people who put the individual above the state.

Which is exactly why Jonathan believes that habeas corpus rights are silly.

This is the way Bush won in 2000.

Maybe Romney should’ve accused McCain of fathering a black baby while campaigning in South Carolina.

There were several good conservatives, as well as a few liberals.

I can only imagine which candidates he thinks were the liberals.

Before the voting, it was pretty wild and the debate intense. As things started going forward, all the conservative republicans fell in line behind one candidate, and that candidate won.

And in 2008, that candidate is probably going to be John McCain.

I expect Romney to win, big time, in November.

I bet you do.

I don’t see any of the democrat candidates holding a candle to Romney the man or Romney’s policies.

How could they? He’s held both sides on nearly every position. No one can hold a candle to that.

I see Romney having all the money he wants to run his campaign, and I see a new conservatism sweeping the nation.

Jonathan, most people use crystal balls to predict the future, not crystal meth.

Our Health Care System is Wonderful, but It Can’t Fix Stupid

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

– posted by thehim

Max Redline is shit out of luck on that count:

Mike Wallace Recovering From Triple Bypass

The guy’s 90 years old, yet doesn’t look a day over 200. So it’s great that he’s doing well, and why is this news?

Because he’s one of America’s most well-respected journalists?

Because in a national health-care system like they have in the U.K. (which Mrs. Clinton wants desperately to install in the USA), he’d be considered too old to deserve treatment.

Um, what?

In a CintonCare society, he’d be dead now.

Every time I visit these blogs, I think to myself, “they can’t possibly get any dumber.” And I’m continually proven wrong in increasingly spectacular fashion. I’m guessing that this article in the U.K. Telegraph is what has morphed into “old people don’t get treatment in the U.K.” after a few cycles through the Limbaugh-Hannity-Savage retard-o-sphere:

Doctors are calling for NHS treatment to be withheld from patients who are too old or who lead unhealthy lives.

Smokers, heavy drinkers, the obese and the elderly should be barred from receiving some operations, according to doctors, with most saying the health service cannot afford to provide free care to everyone.

Among the survey of 870 family and hospital doctors, almost 60 per cent said the NHS could not provide full healthcare to everyone and that some individuals should pay for services.

One in three said that elderly patients should not be given free treatment if it were unlikely to do them good for long. Half thought that smokers should be denied a heart bypass, while a quarter believed that the obese should be denied hip replacements.

Tony Calland, chairman of the BMA’s ethics committee, said it would be “outrageous” to limit care on age grounds. Age Concern called the doctors’ views “disgraceful”.

Gordon Brown promised this month that a new NHS constitution would set out people’s “responsibilities” as well as their rights, a move interpreted as meaning restric­tions on patients who bring health problems on themselves. The only sanction threatened so far, however, is to send patients to the bottom of the waiting list if they miss appointments.


There’s a Republican Caucus

Sunday, January 27th, 2008

Eric Earling wonders why there’s a gay caucus.

Maybe I’m a Jerk…

Computer says yes.

…maybe it’s because I’m of a younger generation that seems less hung up on identity politics, but I don’t quite understand the story about Washington having the 2nd largest gay caucus in its state legislature.

I would think that this is partly a reflection of the size of the state legislatures. I would think that the New Hampshire state house would have the largest a lot of caucuses (especially the gravely New Englander caucus) by virtue of the size of the New Hampshire state house.

Let’s pretend for a minute I’m gay and in the Legislature (Mrs. Earling is not present as I type so can’t immediately object to either proposition). If so, I don’t think I’d be entirely thrilled with being pigeon-holed like that, because like a lot of Americans I think there’s a lot more to my personality, my beliefs, and my politics than my sexual identity.

You don’t have to only join one caucus, make believe gay Rep. Earling (R-Tard).*

I mean, do we have a heterosexual caucus? A missionary position caucus? A S&M caucus? A porn watchers caucus? An undersexed and angry about it caucus?

I thought the Republican caucus was the undersexed and angry caucus.

But, maybe that’s just me.

I suspect that there’s a gay caucus because there are issues before the legislature that affect the gay community more than the rest of us. If there was a concerted effort to deny undersexed and angry people rights the Republican caucus might change their name.

Juno’s Crusade

Saturday, January 26th, 2008

– posted by thehim

Shortly after our good friend Crackpiper chastised me for criticizing Jonah Goldberg’s book before I’d read it (for those who are still unclear, “Liberal Fascism” is an oxymoron in the same way that “Conservative Communism” is), he claimed that the recent movie Juno has an anti-choice message, even though he hasn’t seen it. Since I have seen the movie, I should explain to Mr. Piper that the fact that Juno decides not to have an abortion after visiting an abortion clinic is actually a pro-choice message, since Juno (and not the government) is the one who actually makes the choice not to have an abortion. As I mentioned in the comments there and elsewhere, Juno has an anti-abortion message in the same way that Weekend at Bernie’s has an anti-cremation message.

On a related note, this made-up dialogue from the movie posted at The Daily Weekly made me laugh:


Juno (Ellen Page) breaks the news to her dad (JK Simmons)

Juno: Dad…I’m pregnant.
Dad: Pregnant? How?
Juno: Well, between talking on a hamburger phone to my cheerleader best friend, making arch pop culture references to punk bands that existed before I was born and listening to obscure K Records songs, I had sex with Paulie Bleeker.
Dad: Paulie Bleeker? Really? You couldn’t have gone for that McLovin guy?
Juno: That was Superbad, dad.
Dad: Right. Sorry. So…what are you going to do?
Juno: I don’t know – but whatever I do I’m sure I’ll do it with a quirky style, a killer soundtrack and an unbelievable vocabulary for a high school student. Oh…and somehow you won’t get mad at me for getting knocked up.
Dad: Knocked Up. Now there was a good movie…

Fire Mark Gardner!

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Oh no. Joe Morgan. Fire him. As for Gardner, I can’t actually get excited about the Treasurer race. But Mark Gardner is so upset about something Goldy said about the race that happens to be accurate, he thinks Goldy needs to be fired.

When is KIRO going to fire David Goldstein

… because of his zeal to be a whore to the left?
Mark Gardner: Not a whore to anything.
I’m speaking specifically of Goldstein’s post today attacking Republican Allan Martin who is running for state treasurer.  I personally know Martin and his wife Sue and I can attest to his professional public service ethic and his Mainstream political views.
Well if Mark Gardner can attest to it, he must be a good person.
Martin is so qualified and such a low-key non-partisan that the Democrat incumbant, Michael Murphy is endorsing Martin, a Republican, to succeed him in office when Murphy steps down.
Incumbant? Whatever. The point is that since he was endorsed by a moderate Democrat that he’s above criticism. Or in this case, mentioning something that’s not even negative, really.
Demonstrating his absolute inability to report fairly, Goldstein meanly demeaned Martin and his qualifications for the office by writing:

Murphy, allegedly a Democrat, is backing his top aide, Allan Martin, a licensed funeral director and embalmer, who has declared as a Republican.

Is “top aide” the problem? That sure sounds mean.
Goldstein makes Martin sound poorly qualified.
(a) You already said that, and (b) it’s not true. He called him a top aid, and gave some color.
Here’s the truth: out of college, Murphy worked as a funeral director.  But for the past 20 years Martin worked as a banker as well as a Chelan County Treasurer.
And then he was a “top aide” of the state Treasurer. Why do you keep forgetting to mention that? Personally I’ll be voting for the Democrat; You can’t trust Republicans with your money.
Here’s a quote from Murphy’s press release when the State Treasurer appointed Martin Assistant State Treasurer:

Martin will be responsible for the day-to-day operations of the Office of the State Treasurer, including oversight of the investment of state and local government investment pool funds, receipting and disbursement transactions, and debt management.

Allan Martin, 53, joined the Office in 1998, and has served since 1999 as Deputy Treasurer managing over $10 billion in state obligations. Besides issuing securities for the state, including financing for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, he was instrumental in developing programs that provide savings to local governments across the state; the Local Option Capital Asset Lending LOCAL) program, and the School Bond Guarantee program.

“The Assistant State Treasurer is in a position of public trust for the taxpayers and citizens of the State; I have the greatest confidence that Allan will serve the public with distinction,” Murphy said .

Prior to joining the Office of the State Treasurer, Martin served as Chelan County Treasurer. A native Washingtonian, he is a graduate of Washington State University. Before entering public service Martin was employed in banking. He and his wife Sue make their home in Olympia after moving from the Wenatchee Valley. They have three grown children.

Martin’s professional activities include serving as immediate past president of the Washington Municipal Treasurers’ Association, and past president of the Washington State Association of County Treasurers. He is also a member of the Washington Finance Officers’ Association, and an associate member of the National Association of State Treasurers, participating in its State Debt Management Network.

He didn’t even mention the embalming? Fuck the heck!?
Doesn’t it sound like Martin has more qualifications than being an “embalmer?”  Almost every County treasurer in this state — both Republican and Democrat — are supporting Martin for treasurer.  He has earned everbody’s respect.
everbody? Embalmer and funeral director. And he’s got a license.
I’ve said it here before: I don’t understand why Bonneville Broadcasting Management in Salt Lake doesn’t tell the local station manager to fire Goldstein for embarassing Bonneville’s reputation for quality journalism.  I would have fired this smart ass a long time ago.  I’m sure Lou would have, too.

And with his embarassing spelling, Mark Gardner’s boss should fire him. I mean I think I speak for Lou Guzzo when I say, “blarghmooIeatbabies.” Really, Goldy isn’t a journalist. If they wanted journalism, KIRO would fire everyone on the air except Ross. But they’re a talk station, and really, he didn’t even say it on their talk station.

The Nut Level Race

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

– posted by thehim

Mathew Manweller displays his brilliant analysis skills right here:

Finally, the Ron Paul over Giuliani vote in S.C. is just scary. What does that say about the sophistication of Southern Republican voters? On one side you have a man who wants a complete pull out of Iraq…the consequences be damned and an economic policy that suggests we should eliminate the Fed. On the other side, we have a man who turned the biggest city in American around. He cleaned up the crime, brought the city back in the red, performed magnificently on 9/11, and is the only guy in the debates to actually answer the questions. But S.C. voters picked Paul over Giuliani 2 to 1.

Um, dumbass, in every state so far except New Hampshire, Paul has more than doubled up Giuliani.


Paul 11,817 10%
Giuliani 4,097 4%


Paul 54,434 6%
Giuliani 24,706 3%


Paul 6,087 14%
Giuliani 1,910 4%

What does that say about the sophistication of Northwest Republican voters who somehow managed to become university professors?


Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

Now that’s a bit of branding from the Discovery Institute.

More Good News for Pro-Natalists

I mean, sure it’s nice that they aren’t pretending it’s all about life now. On the other hand, really? Really?

Once again we have more people to cheer about: the U.S. produced 4.1 million babies last year, the highest number since the end of the Baby Boom. Welcome Future Taxpayers of America!

Is there a better way to describe them than “Future Taxpayers of America!”? Citizens? Americans? Kids? I mean seriously, Republicans lose the right to complain about “tax and spend” Democrats.

The big fuss does tend to slight the fact that the per-woman birth rate is only 2.1. That is merely the replacement rate for the current population. Still, it is an improvement. Thanks to all you parents who are taking responsibility for raising the next generation. I am serious. Having a child is one of the greatest votes of confidence one can cast in the future of society.

I like how Chapman has to qualify his seriousness. Remember that any time you read one of his posts on intelligent design or whatever. Unless he says he’s serious, it’s probably just a joke.

But really, people who chose not to have kids (or who can’t have them), why do you hate America? I am serious. Ladies, get knocked up right now, and lads, go knock a lady up right now. Don’t worry, the post is over, so go.